Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Why I am a Failure as a Mom

This hop is a great idea.  I can't wait to tell you how I have failed as a mom with my daughters who are now seventeen and thirteen.  I know I have failed because of the feedback I have had from the girls when they tell me what other moms think and from a phone call I got once telling me that my daughter was participating on a website called, of all things, DEVIANT art!  *swoons away

When they were small I failed them by;

-Only breastfeeding Melissa for a couple of months because I was a stressed out single mom
-choosing to give birth to Sarah (DD#2) at home on my living room floor surrounded by peace and quiet and love
-allowing them solid food when they seemed like they wanted it, rather than by the books
-letting them play under the bleachers while Daddy umpired baseball - they were the dirtiest kids around!
-having them with us at the rink when Dad refereed, or the golf course when he played
-giving them the choice to not wear their jackets if it was cold so that they would learn (of course, I took a jacket  in case they needed it)
-pulling Melissa out of second grade and homeschooling her for two years
-teaching Sarah to read, print and do math before she even started Kindergarten because she was ready
-saying "no" even when it broke my heart because it was the best thing for them
-allowing them to dress themselves even if their clothes didn't match
-not putting a block on the tv, but rather monitoring in person what they watched and discussing things that came up
-treating scary questions as teachable moments

As they got older, I got even worse.  I did such awful things as;

-allowing Melissa to pick her own curfew in high school (she picked an earlier time than I would have!)
-allowing them to walk to the store at the corner and not filling them with my fears of kidnappings or accidents
-teaching them about safely searching the internet rather than putting a parental block on the computer -monitoring what they were doing on the internet (Miss is nearly 18 and I still reserve the right to see what she is doing on the internet I pay for although I never barge into her room or Sarah's)
-not only allowing them to go to anime conventions, but going along with an open mind and eventually embracing the community
-allowing them more and more as they get older to face the consequences of their actions rather than bailing them out
-taking them out of school to go to Disneyland

As you can see, I'm a really horrible mom.  It probably explains why my daughters' friends always come over here and why some of Melissa's friends in high school said they wanted to live here.  I blame my husband; he takes a much liberal approach to parenting and I, by instinct, would be a more protective mom, but it's his fault I have learned to be more middle of the road.

Oh yeah. Worst of all; my kids know they can come to be about anything and I will still love them.  Horrible, no?

Missa and me on the evening of her grad dinner

Sarah and me watching 3D movies on Freedom of the Seas


  1. :) i'm so glad i found this blog hop.. it's great to hear about all the wonderful things that mommas do/have done that aren't necessarily embraced by the mainstream and are just awesome!! my son is not yet two, but i'm sure i'll look back on these & appreciate them!

    1. Isn't it a lot of fun? I think it is oh so important to support one another! :) I'll tell you something else that made me a bad mom; while I loved my babies, I didn't love the phase at all. I am having way more fun with my kids in the last few years, even if they are (gasp) girls!

      Thanks so much for coming by!

  2. Such a bad mom! lol It sounds like you have done a great job with your daughters! Enjoy, they grow up fast!

    1. They sure do! One already is a "grown up"! Yikes! :o

  3. Gasp - they do the right thing. They must just be those fabled "good kids", you definitely had nothing to do with that. Way to go!

    1. Well, you know, Sarah. We all just roll the dice and HOPE our kids turn out alright! ;)

  4. How could you be such a horrible mother? :) It sounds like they are turning out very well.

    1. Thanks, Melissa! I think they are going to be okay as well. :) I LOVE the name of your blog. My older princess was quite the destroyer when she was small as well. She apologizes all the time now!

  5. Love that you went with them to the conference! I hope that I can embrace whatever interests Levi's has so I can support him and also know when it's time to step in if needed. I think it's awesome that you teach them boundaries instead of using parental controls, too.

    Thanks so much for linking up!!

    1. Thank YOU for starting the hop! I really do think involvement is key. I know who my kids' friends are and where they are and when to expect them. I go all Momma Bear when they "forget" to text or call or get home late. All of their male friends are scared of Dad, as they should be! ;)