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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Why I am a Failure as a Mom

This hop is a great idea.  I can't wait to tell you how I have failed as a mom with my daughters who are now seventeen and thirteen.  I know I have failed because of the feedback I have had from the girls when they tell me what other moms think and from a phone call I got once telling me that my daughter was participating on a website called, of all things, DEVIANT art!  *swoons away

When they were small I failed them by;

-Only breastfeeding Melissa for a couple of months because I was a stressed out single mom
-choosing to give birth to Sarah (DD#2) at home on my living room floor surrounded by peace and quiet and love
-allowing them solid food when they seemed like they wanted it, rather than by the books
-letting them play under the bleachers while Daddy umpired baseball - they were the dirtiest kids around!
-having them with us at the rink when Dad refereed, or the golf course when he played
-giving them the choice to not wear their jackets if it was cold so that they would learn (of course, I took a jacket  in case they needed it)
-pulling Melissa out of second grade and homeschooling her for two years
-teaching Sarah to read, print and do math before she even started Kindergarten because she was ready
-saying "no" even when it broke my heart because it was the best thing for them
-allowing them to dress themselves even if their clothes didn't match
-not putting a block on the tv, but rather monitoring in person what they watched and discussing things that came up
-treating scary questions as teachable moments


As they got older, I got even worse.  I did such awful things as;

-allowing Melissa to pick her own curfew in high school (she picked an earlier time than I would have!)
-allowing them to walk to the store at the corner and not filling them with my fears of kidnappings or accidents
-teaching them about safely searching the internet rather than putting a parental block on the computer -monitoring what they were doing on the internet (Miss is nearly 18 and I still reserve the right to see what she is doing on the internet I pay for although I never barge into her room or Sarah's)
-not only allowing them to go to anime conventions, but going along with an open mind and eventually embracing the community
-allowing them more and more as they get older to face the consequences of their actions rather than bailing them out
-taking them out of school to go to Disneyland

As you can see, I'm a really horrible mom.  It probably explains why my daughters' friends always come over here and why some of Melissa's friends in high school said they wanted to live here.  I blame my husband; he takes a much liberal approach to parenting and I, by instinct, would be a more protective mom, but it's his fault I have learned to be more middle of the road.

Oh yeah. Worst of all; my kids know they can come to be about anything and I will still love them.  Horrible, no?



Missa and me on the evening of her grad dinner


Sarah and me watching 3D movies on Freedom of the Seas

10 comments:

  1. :) i'm so glad i found this blog hop.. it's great to hear about all the wonderful things that mommas do/have done that aren't necessarily embraced by the mainstream and are just awesome!! my son is not yet two, but i'm sure i'll look back on these & appreciate them!

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    1. Isn't it a lot of fun? I think it is oh so important to support one another! :) I'll tell you something else that made me a bad mom; while I loved my babies, I didn't love the phase at all. I am having way more fun with my kids in the last few years, even if they are (gasp) girls!

      Thanks so much for coming by!

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  2. Such a bad mom! lol It sounds like you have done a great job with your daughters! Enjoy, they grow up fast!

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    1. They sure do! One already is a "grown up"! Yikes! :o

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  3. Gasp - they do the right thing. They must just be those fabled "good kids", you definitely had nothing to do with that. Way to go!

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    1. Well, you know, Sarah. We all just roll the dice and HOPE our kids turn out alright! ;)

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  4. How could you be such a horrible mother? :) It sounds like they are turning out very well.

    www.adventureswithcaptaindestructo.com

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    1. Thanks, Melissa! I think they are going to be okay as well. :) I LOVE the name of your blog. My older princess was quite the destroyer when she was small as well. She apologizes all the time now!

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  5. Love that you went with them to the conference! I hope that I can embrace whatever interests Levi's has so I can support him and also know when it's time to step in if needed. I think it's awesome that you teach them boundaries instead of using parental controls, too.

    Thanks so much for linking up!!

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    1. Thank YOU for starting the hop! I really do think involvement is key. I know who my kids' friends are and where they are and when to expect them. I go all Momma Bear when they "forget" to text or call or get home late. All of their male friends are scared of Dad, as they should be! ;)

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